I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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