i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
