I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My bed smells like the plague
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