He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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