Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
