you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
