there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize