btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
