I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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