yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
