My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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