everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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