I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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