last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
