I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we made out on top of his cat.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize