Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
