I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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