Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
