shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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