Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
