So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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