I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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