so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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