you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
