But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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