OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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