:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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