Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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