I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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