You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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