i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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