I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
