i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
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Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink