john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
