I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."