Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I checked into jail on foursquare
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
