yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so let's talk penis.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's blow job season.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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