also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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