You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
