I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
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