Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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