im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will be naked everywhere
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would ride that face into the sunset
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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