I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
