I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm bleeding and have questions
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
