he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
