I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
