DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
