after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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