Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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