Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how does that bad decision feel?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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