He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
