I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I need to align my fucking chakras
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
