How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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