Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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