But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
