At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
