I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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