Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
