He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
