So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
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im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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