So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
