dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
